you guys… i can’t believe that i am writing about this again. and maybe perhaps still. i had this post written a while ago and then deleted it. re wrote and then deleted. and then one more.
but here is this difference about those posts and this one… the previous posts were all about numbers. weight gained, weight lost, weighing in on a certain day. basing all success and failures on numbers. judging your self worth on numbers.
i have shared my past on health, diet, nutrition, struggles etc and the more unhealthy i get the more anxious i get. like three years ago here and here when i was 155 here when i started round two here when i got back up past 160 and then last year at 170ish oh guess what on christmas friggin day i hit 180. here’s a tip. don’t way yourself on christmas morning. stupid. yea but… 40lbs in 6 years. and the unfortunate part is due to this blog the failures are right here in front of me in black and white. i can’t say “oh um didn’t know where this all came from” i have evidence to the date including pictures of the scales that say when and how (thanks food and restaurant pics).
over this blog (since 2009) i’ve done (including but not limited to) weight watchers, shakology, body by vi, turbo fire, turbo jam, 21 day fix, 22 day fix, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10 minute abs, atkins, paleo, south beach, sonoma diet, anorexia, bulemia, extreme exercise. i really don’t think there is anything left to try.
ok so now what?
it was never enough. all these things. because of one thing. i never viewed myself as enough. i always focused on #’s #’s #’s ups downs. not how i was FEELING. looking back 155 wasn’t so bad. and to be honest neither was 160. however now at 180 i am officially in the “obese” category. yea me. i should at least get a new yoga top or something for entering this category.
here is the scary part. i don’t feel good. my body is literally saying dude wtf? i have sore knees, i get heartburn all the time, i’m cranky, my ass hasn’t been in anything but leggings or naked since october.
ok so now what?
i need you guys. i know that i can’t be the only cliche loser out there who made a resolution that this was the year. however this time. i am going to be healthy. it took me 6 years to get this on it’s going to take some time to come off. no more low fat no fat quick day fixes. i am going to do this to be healthy. to make my body what it needs to be.
my super wise sister in law sent me this super interesting article about health. the best thing you can do for yourself and for your spouse (or friends, family, room mate, etc) is take care of yourself. and it’s true. i encourage you to give it a read.
ok so now what do you want from me?
ok i want a commitment. i know there are those of you like i said who made resolutions. who want to get to the best versions of themselves. wither thats physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually or maybe it’s everything. lets help each other. lets build each other up. lets encourage each other. lets share our stories (because i’m sure you are sick of hearing mine). what do you think?
let’s dedicate wednesdays to our #bestself2015. lets meet here share our struggles and triumphs for the week. i want to hear yours! together we can all do this.
am i totally insane?
if you’d like i have a few things to add.
– on wedensdays let’s turn these posts into commentary. i would love to hear how your week went. (see above) what did you struggle with? what did you conquer? was it anxiety? was it the scale? was it an issue at work? what helped you become your #bestself2015?
– i will be sending out a bi-weekly newsletter for those interested in staying in touch.
– if you would like to guest post for #bestself2015 contact me! abigail (dot) hoppen (@) gmail.com
i hope this wasn’t to mooshy, content heavy, sappy, loserish. i hope that we can get some good power going on here. happy wednesday!
let’s do this!0