i feel like each week we make baby steps to achieving a new normal. otto wakes up for his feedings then loves to stay up after dad leaves so i’m usually up by 7am. which doesn’t do me a ton of good because i take the 3am feeding shift but it does give me part of my morning back. i do miss my 5am wake ups and going to the gym and then coffee. you miss your rituals and as you slowly adjust to your new or temporary rituals you find ways to sneak your old ones in. and lets be honest. staying in your fancy pj’s (i figured if i’m going to be up a lot of the night i should have fancy pj’s) in bed drinking coffee and watching the news isn’t the end of the world. if we are being totally honest here.
today we are heading out to our pediatrician for our moment of truth. monday we were there and they increased otto’s feedings from 65ml/ feeding to 70ml/feeding hoping that we can get him off the losing track (and plateau track) to gaining. guys, i feel it today. he’s been doing so good with his feeding supplemented with the feeding tube i just feel like there is no way he hasn’t gained this week. if he doesn’t we are going to start supplementing his formula which is not the end of the world. tonight we might be staying home and making dinner together and just relaxing but we shall see. going out to doctors appointments is a lot of work and sometimes by the end of all of it i just don’t want to do anything else.
the rest of the weekend is up in the air. we might head up to pentwater tomorrow but i’m not sure. it’s not hard to actually go there it’s just this fear of forgetting something. we have a “master checklist” for each time we leave the house but i keep telling myself he will be just fine if we have meds, food, diapers thats all he really NEEDS for survival in the wild lol. it’s hard to figure out what to do and where to go because we have to be VERY careful about him getting sick. a virus could be extremely harmful to him and we need to avoid a lot of public places which is hard for this social mama but we have found a few loop holes. we love our morning walks on wednesdays around downtown holland and to the farmers market. there is also a lot of great outdoor venues and restaurants around town that are not packed and have open air patio options. needless to say were paranoid and i don’t think that is a bad thing.
if we don’t go to pentwater we might be hanging around the house, going in to the shop and working on some home projects. i’ve been figuring out little one hour things to do between pumping, feeding, changing and burping lol which is every three hours and allows me to have just over that to get something done around the house. now that i say that.. maybe we will be going to pentwater LOL. hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!