well… my kid is sleeping (again) and i am taking a break from sitting and staring at him to share with you my side of his birth story. i shared his here last week but before he came into this world i had a HUGE fear of giving birth. i know it sounds so silly but i was telling my friend aimee last night that I literally had nightmares for years about physically giving birth. i don’t know why, i’ve done scary things before but it has just been this weird fear i’ve had since i learned where babies come from.
maybe it’s because i’ve never broken a bone? never had any kind of surgery other than having my wisdom teeth pulled? i don’t know but needless to say. me = terrified. when i found out i was pregnant again one of my thoughts was omg it’s going to come out someday. i tried to ignore that part the rest of my pregnancy. i was scared of either method of delivery c section or v birth but i guess what scared me most about the “natural way” was that you just didn’t know when baby was going to decide to come. living an hour from the hospital that we needed to get to that was a huge amount of anxiety put on joe and i. i don’t know what labor pains or contractions feel like?! how am i supposed to know?!? that is why we decided to take the classes to prepare ourselves. we watched the birth video in the class and i had this odd sense of determination come over me like. ok abby psych up women before you have done this women after you will do this. and i got myself in the right headspace for the “big game”.
that was before we went to our 36 week appointment and found that otto was indeed a breech baby. i kind of suspected this 1.) because of my bicorniate uterus and 2.) because i knew his little head was jammed into my left rib. once i found out we were having a c section it was a little bit of a sense of relief. not the giving birth/surgery part but the relief of knowing when little otto was going to come. there was no guess work, no false alarms we just knew. it was surprising to me how relieved joe was after hearing that news. i didn’t realize how much pressure he had on himself to get us to the hospital on time.
i made the decision to stay off google. i honestly didn’t want to know a whole lot about the procedure before hand. plus google always shows worst case scenario, horror stories and too many graphic pictures. instead i talked to some of my friends who have had c sections about what to expect, prepare myself for and what to bring for the recovery process. i’m honestly telling you that this is what helped me the most. no graphic images and honest feedback.
we got to the hospital at 1130am for our check in. i was in my surgical gown by 12. after that i had a parade of doctors come through the room introducing themselves telling me exactly what their role was and what they would be doing. i was assigned one nurse to see me through the entire procedure and i swear that woman was an angel. she took me by the hand and led me everywhere i had to go. we shared the same sense of humor and she honestly eased my nerves so much. after i met all the doctors and team we were informed we had to switch to a different floor. so joe and i went to the elevator and our families who were waiting were also in there and we rode up together which was… interesting lol. the family went to the waiting room and joe went to scrub in. my nurse and i walked through the double doors of the operating room and i was shocked at how much brighter and sterile it was than the rest of the hospital. everything was white and everyone was busy getting ready in blue. my nurse helped me walk to the table where another nurse met me and walked me through the spinal. guys…. i was terrified. but the nurse wrapped me in bear hug to expose my back and the anesthesiologist went nice and slow and explained everything she was going to do before she did it so there were no surprises. i started reciting “be thou my vision” in my head to keep my mind busy. i felt the heat of the numbing needle and then came the spinal which i honestly didn’t feel a whole lot. i felt like a charlie horse kick in my spine for a brief second and everything stared to go tingly starting at my feet.
they helped me lay down and covered me with the sheet. whenever i felt nauseous the anesthesiologist gave me medicine and blankets to keep warm. it was chilly in there but not as cold as i was expecting. around this time joe came back into the room and held my hand. the surgeon was amazing at explaining what was going on. i told her to not tell me what the “tests” were to make sure i was numb were lol. once we made it through that phase she said “ok here we go”. within about five minutes she said you are going to feel a bit of tugging and we are going to go legs, butt, head ok? i said got it. and within what felt like just seconds i felt this pressure leave my rib cage (ottos big head) and heard his very first cry. honestly never felt pain, never really felt a ton of pressure or pulling (some slightly) but nothing that “hurt” and they took otto to my left side to start checking his vitals, warming him up and getting him ready to go to the nicu. i was so focused on watching him that i barely remember anything else. some slight pulling maybe? but nothing extreme.
i got to hold my sweet otto by my head for a brief moment before he headed off to the nicu for inspection. i was off to recovery for about an hour. while you are there you start to gain some feeling in your legs bit by bit and then you try to pump for the first time. you get like two drops.. or at least i did. once i was there for about an hour they wheeled me stretcher and all to the nicu so i could be with my son for a few more minutes.
as the heavy pain meds wore off i kept getting doses of other varieties and it was tolerable. i could at least stand and walk to my wheel chair. my friends told me to get up and walk as soon as i felt i could and i swear that really really helped. they wouldn’t take the catheter out either until i could do a lap around the hospital floor. then they told me i have 6 hours to pee otherwise they put it back in. which honestly is harder than you think. more mental than anything else. that caught me by surprise. i literally googled tricks to pee after cath removal lol. (standing up and sitting down method worked lol).
within about 4/5 days i was feeling pretty good and could get up and lay down pretty easily on my own and within two week now (almost) i’m up and around at about 80%. trying not to over do it and take it easy still but overall recovery has been great. one thing that REALLY helped me was a girdle. not the most comfortable thing in the world but seriously it works and helps hold you in and keep your core straight. i can tell when i don’t wear it because my lower abs get sore. i’m still wearing it 24/7 …maybe as a security blanket lol.
sorry if this is all TMI but i found it really helpful as i was approaching having otto to have some honest feedback about this process.