this is something that has been weighing on me pretty much since we had our miscarriage about two years ago and now into having kids. it’s the assumption that everyone else has/had it so much easier than you. when we miscarried i would catch myself being jealous or snarky that the people who were due the same time as me were having these healthy perfect beautiful babies and it didn’t quite work out for us that way.
when we got pregnant with otto everything was going perfect up until that 20 week appointment when we learned of otto’s heart condition. i’m not going to lie i got angry. i got so angry that our beautiful growing baby was going to have a different journey than “everyone else”. i fought to combat those feelings the rest of my pregnancy and even now into the first weeks of otto’s life.
this morning i sat in bed and listened to his labored breathing and little wimpers and i just got really mad. why does my baby have to be in pain and uncomfortable when healthy “normal” babies are born every day. why is it that my little guy has an uphill battle? it’s just not fair. i remember sitting in our parenting class before he was born and just looking around the room at all these people with what i assumed were having “normal” pregnancies and i kind of resented them.
that is when it hit me. you don’t know that. you don’t know how many women in that room struggled with infertility, miscarriages or just have health issue they are not sharing? we live in a world where it is so easy to project this picture perfect life but you don’t know everybody’s journey. what might seem picture perfect just might not be. they could just choose not to share it.
i have many friends who have lost babies, battled health issues, still battling health issues, journeying through infertility and failed adoptions. my point is you just don’t know. it’s easy to feel alone and isolated that “why me, i’m the only one” the fact is you’re not the only one, i’m not the only one. in fact there is an entire group of supportive moms out there with heart warrior babies. the fact that there is a group for support means hello!? i’m not the only one.
everyone has their struggles. and to those that don’t, who get that picture perfect pregnancy, birth and healthy babies… Thank God. I would wish that for everyone. my point is never assume everyone else has it easy. we all have our struggles and hurdles to overcome they just might not look the same as yours or mine.0