We had our last (scheduled) doctor visit with Otto for hopefully the rest of the summer and are looking forward to enjoying this time together as a family. Especially this weekend. We had our final followup with our cardiologist and got the go ahead to go back to daycare and to work starting on Tuesday.
My heart is really heavy. I’m nervous, I’m anxious and I’m really scared. I’m not only scared of the potential harm of the coronavirus but I’m scared of losing everything we worked really hard to build over quarantine. We became even closer as a family, got to watch Otto learn and grow 24/7 and got used to being just our little team.
We have built and worked on so many things around the farm and have had the blessing of slowly easing back into life. Until we got the go ahead Joe and I have been alternating days at the office while the other stayed home with Otto.
It is going to be a really hard adjustment. One that I am just not looking forward to. I know deep down that Otto will be happy to be playing with children his own age but I am going to miss the spotinatity of taking a walk to the water to go look for turtles or stopping into our local bookstore to see if they have any new mickey books or magazines we need.
There were elements of quarantine that remind me of what post heart surgery looked like with Otto. When you are in it, it’s a nightmare. It doesn’t seem like anything will ever be good again. But once you start creeping into the other side you remember elements that you miss. I remember Joe and I watching hours and hours of shark tank when Otto would just sleep in our arms at the hospital and every time shark tank comes on, I remember that feeling of safety.
I am going to miss the moments after dinner where Otto and I would read together after supper, our 1pm nap walks and just letting him wake up and play with kitties all day. There are elements that are so good and I will remember fondly.
As we go back in to daily life (with adjustment and caution) Joe and I said we are still going to be really cognizant of the changes we enjoyed over quarantine. Home at a reasonable hour, walks after dinner, time in the garden, time to be quiet.
What are you clinging to as your life continues to ebb and flow?